Hi pals,

I've been having a really difficult time lately. The sort of time where I think "mmm I'm crying in public a bit more than normal," totally eliding that actually crying in public at all is usually a "bad sign or whatever" and that if you have a "normal" level of that… well, it's not great. Anyway, I'd been coming out of it a bit over the last couple of days, and last night I was making myself dinner. Just a packet of that nice fresh-ish tortellini, but it occured to me that I could fry some butter on the side, and then fry the cooked pasta in the butter for a bit as well as having it with stock like I normally would. I did that and (1) it was great and (2) it felt sincerely like a step towards joy that I'd not been able to take for weeks. So I hope you're doing okay and I hope you're looking forward to a Fem Fri about butter and the foods that go better with it.

Obviously my first port of call was just to search "nigella lawson butter" and she did not disappoint. The mercury has really dropped these last few days and I know you would love making this colcannon tonight or at the weekend:

brown butter is one of life’s great joys. It’s easy enough to make: all you need to do is heat butter in a (preferably light-coloured, such as stainless steel) pan until it turns the colour of a hazelnut, which for the amount here should take around seven minutes. And yes, there is a lot of butter […] remember that colcannon is not just a dish that celebrates potatoes but also exults in, not apologises for, the butter.

https://www.nigella.com/recipes/brown-butter-colcannon

I've sent this to you before but it still means a lot to me; here's Kylie Taylor talking about her own difficult time and the tiny things that got her through it. I thought of her phrasing, "failing myself and losing my mind," a lot lately, because that is what it feels like. You can always trust a comms person for a pithy phrase. Put butter on that toast:

I was going through an intensely difficult period in my personal life and thought I would never survive it. I was trying to cope in various ways, when a friend said to me that I just had to focus on taking baby steps - one tiny step at a time… Small, little victories, micro reasons for gratitude, such as getting out of bed, or making a piece of toast, putting one foot in front of the other. I felt like I was failing myself and losing my mind, but this conversation changed my whole outlook and I truly think, saved my life.

https://thewomensorganisation.blogspot.com/2020/03/stand-out-promoting-women-role-models.html

Okay look - do you remember when Miss Piggy launched a line of water that was mostly butter? Piggy Water. Here's a lovely defence of Miss Piggy as a character by writer and fat activist Lesley Kinzel, which might also serve as a reminder not to get in the way of other people's joy. Let her have her Piggy Water:

She is a character who has to fight against the pressure to internalize the negativity that surrounds her; she refuses to allow the assumptions and aspersions of other people to influence her opinion of herself. Nor does Piggy contain her rage; she resists, sometimes with violence, a fact of her portrayal that is no doubt complicated enough to warrant its own essay. Miss Piggy is not beyond criticism. She is often unlikeable and unsympathetic, and a lot of the time the personal and professional crises that befall her are caused, directly or indirectly, by her own insecurity and her over-the-top narcissism.

http://www.lesleykinzel.com/the-passion-of-miss-piggy-we-need-more-multi-dimensional-fat-women-characters-in-film-and-tv/

Love,

Alex.